


Unconventional:The Meaning of Honeysuckle.

by DarkHybridChild



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: AU-ish in the sense that the Nations themselves rule things and make their own decisions, Also this is just my headcanons about certain things, And the one time Romano returns the favor when Austria has his own doubts, Aside from 'crack treated seriously' because of the pairing and all, Basically it's Austria validating Romano's existence, But I was too lazy to actually finish writing that fic, Five Times Plus One thing, Gen, IT ALL MAKES SENSE I PROMISE, M/M, Please give it a try, So anyway it's crackpairing-ish but still really cute, So this is like the condensed version of that fic, This is actually a fic based off of a fic, This is pretty much just an abundance of fluff and crud like that, i don't really know what to tag this as, i'm not sorry about it, oh and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 12:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14769509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHybridChild/pseuds/DarkHybridChild
Summary: Otherwise known as: Five times Roderich tells Lovino he’s worth it and the one time Lovino returns the sentiment.Teeth rotting fluff in the form of White Cross. Sorry not sorry about the crackpairing-ishness.(The fic itself doesn't have anything to do with or about honeysuckle, but in floral language, it means 'devoted affection', which is, pretty much, the sentiment of this fic. Sooo... There's your new lesson for the day.)





	Unconventional:The Meaning of Honeysuckle.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ALynnL07](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALynnL07/gifts), [cinnerman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnerman/gifts).



> It's been way too long since I've uploaded anything and I've felt bad. So have this older work of mine that at the time, I'd been scared to post. Now, I don't really care, and actually I'm pretty proud of it. I love this pairing, as rare and somewhat crackish as one might thing it would be. Though in a serious context, it can work. Anyway, this fic is kind of like a condensed version of a longer fic based off of this headcanon/idea of mine.
> 
> In short: South Italy felt himself disappearing because of his realization he was being left behind and doing nothing about it and grew very scared. He tried hiding it and just dealing with it for his brother's sake, but it got to be too much and so he ran away. Knowing his brother would probably go crying to Germany and Prussia, he countered this by going to one of the few people he knew the others wouldn't think to look for him at: And that's Austria's. And at first, Austria hadn't wanted to let the other stay, not til he saw how broken and translucent (quite literally) he looked. And from there, things happened. Wine loosens Roma's tongue and an old song Austria plays on his piano has him breaking and admitting to everything. And instead of mocking him or telling him he's childish or stupid or whatever else, Austria sympathizes and tells him his existence is important. Thus setting a chain of events in motion.
> 
> As stated, I love this fucking pairing, it's one of my OTPs and I've given it the fond 'ship name' of White Cross (Edelweiss, and the fact they both wear crosses is my reasoning.) Anyyyywayyy, that's about it. Enjoy.

The first time Roderich tells Lovino his existence means something is right after he’d just finished spilling all of his fears and worries. The Austrian looks at him, eyes filled with an understanding that took Romano back before the other sets their wine glass to the side, leans forward to the edge of his seat on the couch and says in a soft tone.

“Change is the hardest thing to ever accept, let alone embrace. But don’t scoff at your own will to survive. Everyone is afraid of dying, of disappearing. There’s no shame in that. But your will to continue to exist despite the changes and knowing it would probably be the easiest to just give in? That’s strength, not weakness. It’s not pathetic. Everyone is weak when they’re dragged to the brink of no return and faced with the decision to live or die. You choosing life? Brave, and strong. It will be a difficult struggle." 

The shadows that passed across the Austrian’s eyes were almost missed by Lovino, as well as the barely whispered words beyond that.

” _I would know._ “

  
—–

  
The second time Roderich tells Lovino his existence means something is a month later, when Romano hesitantly asks the Austrian to accompany him back to Italy. He takes the other Nation to his favorite restaurant, treating them to the finest Italian cuisine that was, in his own way, the only way he felt he could express his gratitude to the other for his help. Truthfully, one months time compared to all the year’s he’d been struggling? It felt ridiculous on the scale of time, but one month alongside the Austrian and their company changed him near irrevocably on the inside.

There wasn’t much he could do or say to even begin to tell or show the Austrian what it meant to him, this was the best he could do.  _For no_ w his mind stated with certainty. Because he was going to do everything he could to show the world he wasn’t going to disappear.

Afterward, when Lovino hesitates outside the door to his home, he turns to gaze up towards the other, trying to will the words to come to him, but all he can manage is the barest upturn of his lips in a small smile. Roderich returns it and reaches forward to place his hand on Lovino’s shoulder. "Go on. The journey of a thousand miles starts with but a single step, after all.”

There’s a silent pause between them, before Romano nods and turns back to the door, opening it with a quiet breath and steps inside. He doesn’t look back, but lets the words slip out into the open. “I already took that step a while back… This is just the first trial along that journey. Watch me, I will climb past it.”

He doesn’t see Roderich’s smile widen by a fraction, nor hear the words that follow as the door closes.

“ _I know._ ”

  
—–

  
The third time Roderich tells Lovino his existence means something is a month later from that, at the World Conference. Lovino strode in, head held up, eyes scanning the room. It didn’t take him long to locate the Austrian. Not letting the smile he felt wanting to make its way onto his face rise, he brushed past the rest of the other Nations, leaving Feliciano’s side–Ludwig was on his other, anyway, he wasn’t worried–to sit down in the seat beside the Austrian, not caring about the sudden amount of confused or intrigued looks many of the others gave him. He didn’t care.

His prodigal return had sparked a lot of questions and intrigue anyway, and he’d never fully told anyone  _except_  Feliciano everything that had happened. And from that moment on, he’d set himself into motion of his own. Italy was mostly Feli’s now, he knew that. That wouldn’t stop him.

All Nations had pillars, foundations. Grandpa Rome had been theirs, and Romano was older than Feliciano. It was his job to be that foundation now. If the pillars and foundations were weak, then the stability of the architecture above it would crumble and break, too. Italy literally  _felt_  the shift when Romano began his near tireless work.

And it was with that foundation in mind, he sat beside Austria and leaned to the side to ask them: “Is your offer of Exchange Training still standing?” The rest of the Nations were ignored even with their verbal questions. Roderich’s expression only shifted marginally on the outside, but their voice was clear as they replied. “It is. I’ve been keeping tabs on the Nation’s statuses. I believe we can work something out.”

Even as Alfred decided to burst into loud yelling of accusations of spying or some such, along with the others still questioning, Lovino’s eyes met Roderich’s. The next words spoken by the Austrian could barely be heard by Romano through the commotion.

“ _You’ve grown quite exponentially, I look forward to seeing how much higher you’ll decide to climb._ ”

  
—–

  
The fourth time Roderich tells Lovino his existence means something is two months later, where Lovino had practically moved in with the Austrian for the duration of his training, so to speak. Austria was a Neutral Nation, an ambassador and sort-of world-wide peace keeper. Austria was not quite like Switzerland and Liechtenstein who remained a true Neutrality and didn’t interfere much with the world’s political affairs.

Austria, however, was a prominent political figure in some ways and was a sort of go-between branching point for a lot of the business in the northern European countries where countries could come and talk trade fairly. In order to ensure Italy’s future, Romano needed to be able to support Feliciano in many different ways.

His brother heeded a lot of his counsel, but Lovino was aware he needed a better grasp of handling politics and being able to expand and improve relations with the other Nations. Chagrin as this made him since he personally didn’t get along with most of them, he felt internally it would make him stronger in a sense to work through and above his personal opinions.

Roderich had smiled with he’d explained this to him and had nodded in understanding. “I’m much the same. I do not care much for the rest of the Nations personally, but I wouldn’t want any of them to collapse or worse, so being a neutrality and having these Exchanges provides the sort of unpersonal stability and support in its own way.” The Nation had explained.

It was some time between his training and just coming to know the Austrian that Lovino had found, to his own surprise, he held so much care and affection for Roderich.

It wasn’t something he’d noticed at first, until he realized he was treating the other in a similar way he did Feliciano. Near-affectionate jibes and teasing–to which the other Nation never hesitated in returning fire–and oh, how that thrilled him, feeling angry when he’d hear someone talking down or bad about Austria on their trips abroad for his training–to near downright possessiveness whenever Vash would stop by with Elize to see Roderich at home when they all had a moment of cleared schedules.

He honestly had been worried when he’d realized his own behavior and suddenly began to lose his own confidence in himself. It was only when the other Nation had practically cornered him in a heated verbal fight that the words came falling from Lovino’s lips, all the words of his thoughts, feelings, his insecurity and feelings of inadequacy jumbled and fell out his mouth–then he suddenly found himself staring up with wide eyes at the taller Nation when they’d pulled him near with a look to their eyes that made Romano’s breath stop, his mind go blank, and his body to still completely.

Then he registered warmth tingling across his cheek and his eyes widened as he felt Roderich’s lips just barely caressing across it before their voice whispered into his ear.

“ _Do not think for one moment you are not worth anything. You mean more than you think; to me, especially._ ”

  
—–

  
The fifth time Roderich tells Lovino his existence means something is in another two months, and Romano had hit a wall. He was struggling to find a delicate balance between his work and the slow moving, but extraordinarily strong relationship he’d begun with Roderich.

There were times he could barely find the line between work and play, and that was bad. He needed that line, so he wouldn’t overstep his boundaries, so he wouldn’t compromise them both when on business. The last thing he ever wanted would be to cause Roderich to come under fire for supposedly breaking his neutrality if it showed he favored him so much during work. But it was just so  _easy_  to forget all of that when they were together, because it was so comfortable.

They surprisingly meshed very well together, even Lovino had been surprised. Roderich could more than handle any of his attitudes and dish it back, if he was inclined to. He didn’t take his tirades, but he never seemed to lose all of his patience with him. And on the other side of that, Lovino avidly admired and listened to all of the stories and knowledge the other Nation imparted.

Not only that, but Roderich’s music… Ah, it pleased Lovino to no end. He could play a few instruments himself, but never with the emotion and passion Austria put into his. It was not his forte (pun intended) but the other reason it worked out so well was because Lovino loved to dance. If he ever figured he was good at anything, it’d be his dancing. Because even he knew he was horrible with words–and it was a very trying ordeal when learning to speak eloquently and with politeness, a thing Roderich was still working with him on–and so he had always searched for other means to express himself, without words.

He was a decent artist, he supposed, but it never truly called to him like it did some of his beloved citizens or his brother, but when it came to dance… He supposed Antonio had some hand in that, because Spain had once told him, “We romantic countries don’t always need to speak with flowing words to get our expressions across. We are artisans, poets, musicians, and dancers. If there is a way to express our feelings beyond vocal tone, it lies there.”

Dancing had come naturally to Romano after Antonio had more or less forced him to start learning to help his chorea, so whenever he needed to get his feelings out, he danced. And dancing to Austria’s music was special. But now he’d hit a wall. He was struggling to find a balance between his emotions and his work. He didn’t want to disappoint Roderich, nor he didn’t want to quit–and god knows he didn’t want to give up their relationship because honestly? It was the best thing that had ever happened to Lovino, in his opinion.

He finally felt… Fine. At ease with himself. He was no longer struggling as much with his insecurities, with his self-conscious and self-degrading thoughts. He felt… Treasured. Cherished. Wanted. Austria didn’t coddle him, didn’t treat him like glass or skirt around things, but the way the Nation could almost tell and know how firm or soft he needed to be when dealing with him and his insecurities, when he needed to be reassured and shown visibly he was wanted, or when he needed a harsh, verbal slap to wake him from his internal delusions. He somehow always managed to convince and show Romano he was worth it.

He didn’t know what to do at this point. He’d stagnated all day and the next thing he was even really aware of was getting into a verbal match with Roderich again over this come evening, trying to tell him how lost he felt, and not sure whether to run away again or what. But really, the match was over before it even really started and Austria let out a soft sigh, reaching forward to cup his glove covered hand against his cheek. “Lovino… Do you trust me?” He asked softly.

“O-of course I do…! I just… It’s me I don’t–” Roderich cut him off with a shake of his head.

“Dance for me.”

“Wh-what?” Lovino stuttered, staring with a stupefied expression.

The other Nation only smiled, stepping back and turning to walk to the other side of the room to where Romano’s stereo speaker was and with a few movements of his hands, flicked it on and clicked to a track number before pressing the play button and music began to filter into the room before turning back. “Trust me, please. Just dance.”

Caught between wanting to protest and his desire to trust and please Roderich, Lovino shuffled back and forth on his feet for a few moments, chewing on his lip, closing his eyes. When he did so, he became more aware of the music, and felt his body’s muscles slowly uncoiling, the tension beginning to drain as he took a deep breath, letting a shudder ride down his spine as the melody of the music finally registered.

It called to him. Music called to him, it always had. So he answered it, and let it lead him. He danced, letting the music direct his body where it would to the beat, to the words. He lost track of everything else. He was calm and at ease with himself again.

He was confident and self-assured when he danced because the music empowered him, pooling into the center of his being and surging with energy that made him feel like anything he ever dreamed and wanted was within his reach. When it was over, and his eyes opened, Roderich had shut the player off and approached him again.

Grasping his arm gently and pulling him into close proximity, Romano struggled mentally to not let his eyes drop shut and sink bonelessly forward towards the other. A soft kiss was placed at the shell of his ear, making his breath hitch and he waited, because he knew that the Austrian’s words were soon to follow.

“Confidence is not something that ever truly disappears. When you dance, you feel powerful, like nothing can touch you. Bravado, and arrogance, they are but illusions of confidence, not the real thing. Right now, Lovino, I need for you more than ever to hold onto that confidence and wield it with that control I’ve seen in you. I desire so much to see you walk beside me without that look of concealed worry, and I know, with every fiber of my very being, that you can. You are a fickle, sometimes frustrating, but a wonderfully bright, intelligent being. You are only held back by what you fear.”

Romano was struggling to control his breathing when the Austrian tipped his head further back, lips trailing down across his cheek and his eyes lost the fight and fluttered shut.

“Roderich…” He murmured quietly.

“ _If music is what so emboldens you, then I’ll endeavor to be that melody for you to fall back on when you are without any._ ” Roderich promised softly before closing the gap between them and seizing Lovino in a reassuring kiss.

Romano swore to himself inwardly from this point on he would do everything possible to become who it was that Austria saw in him.

——

Roderich lets himself sink wearily down into the cushion of the couch and lift the teacup from the saucer in his hands and take a long sip. He was really feeling his age today after that Conference, it was a relief to be able to just unwind in this comfortable silence in his Hotel room he shared with Lovino.

Three months seemed to fly past quickly once the Austrian had finally managed to break through nearly all of Romano’s insecurities and address them. He wouldn’t ever force him to change or move faster than he could, but he always encouraged, reassured, and offered ways to deal with it and let Lovino figure it out. He didn’t  _need_  to tell the other what was right or not, only the other knew what was the best for him; he was intelligent, so very insightful to things and was aware of so many things he never truly let onto, but Roderich was not one who let details pass, either. They were alike in ways, and different enough to remain interesting and give enough depth of intrigue.

And yet… Here he was, after a long discussion with several of the other Nations who decided it was time to play twenty questions and break into the how’s and why’s and question everything he was and his relationship with Lovino, he felt so drained, tired, and questioning himself, even. It wasn’t his care for Lovino he questioned, oh no, he knew where his heart belonged on that matter and  _damn them all to hell if they thought to convince him otherwise_  it was simply… He simply questioned if what he was, was worth it all in the end.

All the careful changes and adaption; the meticulous, thought out blend of old and new, going from being tied to Germany in a pseudo-wedlock to a Neutral country, it had always, always been to him, the degree of protection he sought for himself. He knew he could not stop or turn back time–nor did he want to–the best he could ever do was do what he could to preserve what he cherished of the past and combine it with the new, and to build himself into something that could be near untouchable to a high degree. Because the pain, the hurt, it was not something Austria wanted to feel again. Not that kind of pain.

But now he was questioning himself. Because if it wasn’t for all those steps, his planning, and everything he did to become neutral, he pretty much undermined everything with the sudden arrival of Romano on his doorstep all those months ago. His surge of connection to Lovino, his feelings, the way his walls came down completely for them he knew was a great weakness for him, a leverage for anyone to use, and now his neutrality was being called into question–and by the very one he thought never would. Vash. And it hurt that much more because of it.

Had his own explanation and discussion with him not been enough to show Switzerland he was still able to remain impartial and neutral to the countries? Lovino was not exactly Italy–merely a fraction, a piece, that really, only held sway if he asked something of his brother, Feliciano. Austria had no plans of favoring Italy just because he was in a relationship with Romano, past ties and the like notwithstanding.

If he was ever thinking of favoring anyone, his top two choices would probably always be Switzerland and Liechtenstein, because all three of them in their neutrality were forces to be reckoned with, but if they were to ever unite all three of them under a common banner, and still carried on their neutrality? He really  _would_  like to see Ivan try his domination tactics on them in that scenario.

Nevertheless, Vash questioned, and when Vash questioned, suddenly the rest of the Nations were listening and questioning, too.

Pain surged through his chest, and a headache was forming. His hands were shaking with the distress he was feeling and was forced to set his saucer and cup down on the coffee table in front of him. He ran a hand through his hair before bringing both hands up to slide under his glasses and rub gently across his eyelids.

Hands suddenly rest upon his shoulders, fingertips slowly curled in gentle, but anchoring pressure before there’s a voice breaking the silence. “ _Tutti scopare._ ”

That had the corners of Roderich’s lips quirking in dry amusement before shaking his head. “ _Nein, ich würde eher nicht. Ich bin mir ziemlich sicher, dass sowieso nicht funktionieren würde._ ” He answered.

Lovino’s face appeared at an odd, sideways upside down from where he was standing on his tip-toes and leaning as far over the back of the couch to face Roderich as well as he could. He had an amused quirk to his lips as well before they immediately softened out into a more sober expression, eyes narrowing with agitation. “What’d they say?”

Roderich met Lovino’s eyes and despite the awkward angles and all, reached up and back slightly with his hand to let his fingertips trace against the Italian’s cheek. He took a measured breath, summoning his inner strength to speak the words he honestly did not want to say, but would anyway because he would always be truthful to Lovino. Because he’d asked that much of him.

“Vash has…called into question my neutral status. And the others followed suit.” He explained, trying to keep his voice to remain level and even, but it quivered in faint vibrato of emotion of hurt that escaped in the tone.

“…This is my fault.” Romano suddenly said, causing Austria to look at him with wide eyes.

“No!” He viciously denied, shaking his head.

“To be honest…  I think it’s because I’m merely an outsider. A new addition to an old piece, as it were. As stupid as it seems, not everyone is readily able to accept sudden change. You were right: it was hard, and a struggle for me. Even now, I still am. I’m still scared. But I’m moving, and I can’t stop. I don’t want to stagnate and be left behind. My sudden appearance, or rather,  _re_ -appearance into your life has…caused some irrevocable things to occur and upheave your balance and all of your work. I’ve compromised you, you can’t deny that.” Lovino spoke quietly, in an even tone he’d learned from Austria when he was taught how to deliver sentences without being harsh.

The nation flinched, and looked away for a long moment, trying to gather his thoughts, swallowing to relieve some of the tightness there from the sudden clench as more pain traced through him with those words. He honestly couldn’t deny it, because that was how it was viewed by everyone else, and logically speaking, it was true. It didn’t mean he had to like it, not at all. And he didn’t. He really didn’t like it. At all.

“Was everything I’ve become for nothing, then?” He once again asked himself.

At once, there was a dramatic shift in reality as he suddenly came face to face with Lovino again, but this time, right side up and the Italian was practically in his lap, straddling across his legs, hands slammed into the back of the couch behind him and was glaring into his eyes with that passionate fire Roderich was so used to seeing whenever the other was bound and determined to prove something.

“It was  _not_  for nothing! Don’t you ever think for a  _second_  that anything you’ve done is worth regretting because  _I will not let you_. You are strong, Roderich. So strong; you’ve done nearly everything alone, without aid. I get why. I do. Because you didn’t want to be hurt again. But neither you, or me, knew what was gonna happen when you decided to let me stay that day. And… As selfish as it is, I’m glad I did. Because I wouldn’t be here, otherwise. I wouldn’t be where I’m at, I would still be wandering, or worse.”  _Forgotten_ , the word hung in the air, but Lovino continued, letting his head gently tilt forward til his forehead rested against the other Nation’s and shifted his weight enough to transfer his hands from the back of the couch, to Austria’s shoulders.

  
“Do not regret who you are, Roderich, please. Don’t you dare. Not when the you that you are is the one I care for. You are Austria, Roderich Edelstein; the fucking sassiest bastard to counter everything I have ever thrown at you be it words or otherwise and all the while, keep prodding me, encouraging me to find myself, to tell me it was alright for my own fears. You didn’t  _have_  to settle for me, you really, really didn’t. But I’m so, so blessed you did.  _Merde_ , I can’t–don’t– _oh cazzo me, che cosa sono le parole?_ ”

Lovino brought both of his hands up to cup and frame both sides of Roderich’s cheeks, pulling away enough to gaze down into his eyes, lips trembling as he spoke his next words with utmost reverence. “ _Io ti amo. Ti amo tanto._ ”

  
Austria’s eyes widened marginally, feeling all the air in his lungs leave him at the tone the Italian used to those last words, they were a melody of their own that stirred the accompanying symphony from him. “ _Und ich dich. Immer du._ ”

He let one of his hands raise up to clasp over one of Romano’s own, the other winding around Lovino’s waist to draw them closer so that the Italian completely settled their weight down onto his lap before tracing up his back, til his fingertips met the nape of their neck. Gazing at their face, and that gaze that had softened from the glare to something a thousand times more beautiful than Roderich dared to vocalize, for there really were no words to be used. None would do them justice. But thanks to Lovino in his own way, he knew words were not the only way to show expression and convey things.

Leaning forward just enough to give himself the reach he needed, the Austrian craned his neck and gently pressed his fingertips into the back of the Italian’s neck in a gentle persuasion and their head bowed forward just enough for their lips to brush against one another in a slow, but chaste kiss.

No more words were said for quite some time.

“Where my own inner tune began to play off key and off time, you come along and lead me back into time and create a harmony that lets me find the right key and tone again.” Roderich murmured into Lovino’s neck, letting his lips brush against the skin with the words he spoke.

“Dancers keep time to music, should the musician lose their place, the rhythm of the dancer can pull them back into it. But I am more than that. Much more. Because I know music, can play, too, I know how a key should sound. You are more than a musician. You are a composer. You do more than play music, you create, you inspire. There is one thing, though…” Romano replied, letting out a sigh of content before bending his head to nuzzle into the Austrian’s hair for a moment before continuing to move, letting his body scoot farther down until his mouth is hovering close to the nation’s ear.

“ _Every composer needs a conductor._ ”

Realization soon dawned upon Roderich that all the things between them, all the parallels, and the differences, it was all set up to be a very detailed, intricate balance. He almost laughed as he could just picture a familiar, gleeful face sitting at a loom looking at the threads they were weaving.

There was no way he could ever– _would ever_ –let this go. The other nations be  _damned_. He knew who he was, he knew  _what_  he was. Neutrality or no, come hell or high water, he was Austria, and he would keep moving forward, as he has always done.

All the times he had reassured Lovino his continued existence was important, it finally came full circle.

The one time Lovino told Roderich his existence meant something…

Was the moment he fell in love with the Italian all over again.

  
- _End_ - 

**Author's Note:**

> Translations for the Italian and German used. I used an online translator simply because I can’t speak either language. (Well, I can parrot Italian since it’s so close to spanish and french, but yeah. German? Nope.)
> 
> Translating in order of appearance:
> 
> “Fuck everyone.”  
> “No, I’d rather not. I’m fairly sure that wouldn’t work, anyway.”
> 
> “But I’m so, so blessed you did. Shit, I can’t–don’t–oh fuck me, what are words?”
> 
> “I love you. I love you greatly.”  
> “And I you. Always you.”
> 
> Other little notes: The 'familiar, gleeful face sitting at a loom' is a reference to a few mythology/angelology things. There's several different Mythological deities that are in charge of fate and are depicted as weaving a person's life and fate upon a loom. In Angelology, there's a certain Archangel that is depicted as a star weaver and is also in charge of preordained, 'destined' things. Soooo, I was merely making a subtle reference to this.
> 
> And: the 'composer and conductor' thing? Mildly inspired by The World Ends With You/Subarashiki Kono Sekai. And because of both Austria and South Italy being attached to music and all.


End file.
